Jzoe Blog

NORML Home / State By State Laws / New York

What would you do, hypothetically, if you discovered that somebody you are living with is attempting to cultivate a fairly large crop of pot? Do you tell him, “Look, it’s got to go.”

What will that do? Will he really say, “Ok, fine.”? No, I don’t think he would. Do you call the cops? Hell no, not if he’s your friend. You don’t send a friend to jail unless he killed someone. If he’s a really good friend, then you help him hide the body.

What if the cops, or some other authority, happens to venture into your basement for a reason totally unrelated to the pot? If that happens, you risk jail time and fines just for living there. You’re quite likely to have to go to court. Your house and property could be seized. That’s a big risk.

I say that pissing in the plants or otherwise killing them without telling him is the way to go. Piss is good because I don’t think it would hurt him if he went and smoked the dead plants. Bleach would be risky- what if he tried to salvage what he could? Don’t want to do that to a friend.

wow, don’t you hate when you think of something WAY too late, and realize that you’re really short on foresight?

Dictionary.com/personification

I was always angry that my 9th grade english teacher marked my vocabulary test wrong when I wrote “Anthropomorphosis” instead of “personification”. I was sure that I was right- but now I guess I see the difference.

See, anthropomorphosis is the literal transformation of a nonhuman thing into something human, and personification is the literary device used to talk about something like that metaphorically. Duh. Fuckers.

Why did AIM decide to start showing commercials?? With sound?!? And popups?

I’ve used AIM for years now, but if it’s going to start playing movies with sound while I’m trying to listen to music, and giving me popups- it just became a real pain, and i’m going to have to switch to something else.

Little kids should not read today’s post. It’s about cussing.

I was cleaning my room today, and I came across an old paper where I listed some ideas for creative cussing. Honestly, I admire someone who can cuss creatively.

It’s not enough to shout at someone “F-you!” or “Suck my d-”.. sometimes that just doesn’t cut it, and it’s really not very entertaining. Does it really make you feel better to cuss someone with the same phrase that everyone else uses?

Here’s a simple guide for having a good cuss. First, you’ve got to know when and where it’s OK to do this. If you’re looking for a fight, or telling off someone with whom there will be no reconciliation- cut loose. If you’re heckling, be careful. Without further ado- here’s my list.

1) Don’t pass up combos.

If there’s a chance to add another layer to the insult, don’t miss it! Why call someone a lousy bastard when you can call them a lousy bastard who smells like death and makes death seem like a pleasant nap?

2)Bodily fluids.

They’re gross, and that’s the point. It’s graphic, it’s dirty, and unappetizing. Go for it.

3) Threats, overly specific.

Describe in graphic detail exactly what it is that you’re going to do to someone, how they’re going to feel about it, and what people are going to say afterward.

4) Say things like”I swear to-” and “For -’s sake!” and “For the love of” with unusual things.

An example of an overused case would be “For shit’s sake!” Because- why would you do something for shit’s sake? Who cares about shit? I might be the only one, but I find this sort of nonsense to be hilarious.

5) Mix in some “nice” words like “Sweet”, “dandy”, “bodacious”, “tickle”, “butterfly”, “hugs and kisses”.

It’s just weird.

6) Say stuff that doesn’t even make sense. Interrupt yourself with random grunts and screams.

7) Spit on the ground, jab your finger at the object of your anger, grab yourself.

Tone of voice is key- it can carry more weight than your words, and body language goes right along with that. How could you ever tell if you got cussed out in french if it wasn’t for this part?
Wait until you’re actually mad.

The whole point of this list is that people are not only becoming illiterate, they are losing the capacity to cuss creatively. It’s come to the point where we’re almost like the Smurfs on TV. You remember them? Every fifth word was ’smurf’, and they used it to mean just about anything. If giant green people made a cartoon about us regular sized pink/brown people, we’d probably be called “The Fucks”.

Cussing just doesn’t have the impact that it ought to if you do it all the time. It’s verbal violence, and violence is a last resort. People who curse all the time suck.

The Record

Hey, it’s the Troy Record story about my Egg Drop! They mention my name in there several times, and for the record- when they quoted me they didn’t get the words right. I think that what I learned the most about during that egg drop was reporters. I got interviewed, and the reporter was writing in short-hand the whole time. Have you ever seen that stuff? It looks like heiroglyphics or something. Anyway, the moral of the story is to always be careful when you’re talking to reporters! They write stories, and if you can give them something to write about, they’ll take it.

That’s not a deadly weapon- that’s a stage prop!!

MATT HELMS: 1-day gas boycott is just a lot of hot air

So I hear there’s an email going around telling people to boycott gas on wednesday. Does anyone think that the oil companies will even notice if you delay filling up for 24 hours?

Boycotting would only hurt the gas stations- and not because of the gas. The gas has a relatively narrow profit margin. It’s the stuff you buy in their convenience store that keeps the lights on and the gas flowing. What did gas stations ever do to us?

The counter-boycott I propose for this wednesday is for all of us to go to whatever gas station is near by and buy some beer, jerkey, playboys, and smokes. The gas stations need our help.

You can pass this on if you want.

Counterspin Central: The unofficial “FIRST AMENDMENT ZONE.”

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I was walking on the street today, and I saw a sign on somebody’s house that said “Support our president and our troops”. Now, come on… we all support the troops, don’t we? They’re just taking orders. It’s not their fault that they’re fighting a war that shouldn’t have been entered. It’s not their fault that the leader is who/what he is… so of course we support them. They’re our brothers/sons/etc. We want them to come home safely- as soon as possible.

Now, how is that connected to supporting the PRESIDENT?? The last time I checked, we are HIS boss, not the other way around. He rules the government (in the executive sense, as held in check by the legislative and judicial branches)- and we rule HIM. Is that right, or were my American government classes wrong? I thought that our freedom of speech and assembly as US citizens came with the responsibility to be critical of the actions of our leaders. With rights come responsibilities- that’s what we learned in boyscouts. I hope that anyone reading my blog would already know that I feel this way, but I would like to say it for once- difinitively and in public- that this is what we were taught in boyscouts, and this is what I believe in.

Anyhow, if the guy doesn’t do what We the People want, we ought to kick his ass out of office and get someone who will. I’m not talking about Kerry either. I look forward to the day when I don’t have to vote between the lesser of two evils.

anvilfire

It looks like a parabolic mirror would work, but because there is no fire, the oxygen remains in the fire and oxidizes the metal. That’s bad… but there are ways around it.